What Living Alone Has Taught Me

Good morning everyone!

Today is an especially good day as it is a bank holiday and that means – no work! The only down side to this is that I am currently between flats, if you follow me on Twitter you will probably have picked up that I am moving house. I have a week between move-out and move-in so all of my things are packed up into a friends living room and I am stuck with a suitcase. The most difficult bit of this is trying to stay away from shopping before I get all moved in! #struggles. Anyway, this move is particularly exciting because I am moving in with a friend (who also happens to be a vegan, so yay!). Why does this make the move so exciting you ask?? Because I have lived alone for the past couple of years, moving in with a flat mate is a really big deal! So, on the brink of starting my journey of flat-mate-dom, I thought I would share with you what living by myself has taught me and why I think everyone needs to live alone at least once in their lives. Coming from someone who always swore they would never live alone, this is pretty big news. There are so many things that I have taken away from this experience but these are the big self-changers. Buckle up 🙂

  1.  Yes, you can rely on yourself– When you live by yourself, there is no one you can turn to get the furniture rearranged, unblock that drain, change those hard to reach light bulbs and to get rid of the spiders. At first this seems like the worst thing in the world and you start thinking “what have I done?!” but over time you realize, actually, “I don’t need someone to do this for me. I can figure out how to programme that TV all on my own! Stick it help from others!” I mean, of course you always have your friends (and family if they are close by) to help out when you really need it, but living on your own does help to give you that final push to realizing that you are perfectly capable to fend for yourself.
  2. Yep, I do actually like my own company– Growing up these days so many people are afraid to be alone. They think that being alone means there is something wrong with you or that you just don’t have any other choice. That is just so not the case. Being alone is amazing! This took me a while to get used to but once you do, its bliss. Go ahead and take a million shameless mirror sefies, no one will know! Eat as much cake as you want, no one is judging you! You want to dance around in your underwear, while singing the blues and crying? DO IT! Sure, its nice to spend time with others and enjoy others company, but it is really nice to come home and distress el solo. It is so important to learn to enjoy your own company and feel confident and happy with being alone. I mean, think about it….if you don’t like spending time with you, why would other people? You are awesome, so spend some time with just you.
  3. OK, I can be responsible– Very relatable to number 1 but this even goes down to doing the dishes, cleaning, etc. It is no ones fault but your own if the sink if full of dishes and there are three full bins of garbage rotting away (not going to lie to y’all but I have been there once or twice and its really not pretty). However, this is behind me now, I even have a reminder on my phone to water the plants, otherwise I turn into a serial plant killer 😦 Being the only person who take care of things teaches you to bloody well take care of things. Trust me, once this starts happening you start to feel really good about yourself- hello adulthood!
  4. And on the less positive side, Nope, I do not like it when people rearrange my stuff– While there are a lot of benefits to living alone and I am a firm believer that everyone should give it a go, there are some down sides to this as well. You can get a bit ‘grumpy old lady-ish’ and get very territorial over your things. I find that I get a little annoyed when someone doesn’t put things back where they belong or just totally change up my routine. I know that isn’t good and that I need to be more flexible in that sense. So my advice is to remain flexible with your space, just because its yours doesn’t mean it cant be enhanced by someone else!

So a long story short, live alone at least once in your life! Its good for you. Now that I have learned that I can survive on my own, I am very excited to live with someone again. That will bring its own set of lessons to learn, but bring it on world because I am ready for you.

Before you go, I would love to hear from you guys! Let me know your thoughts on living alone. I would also love to hear what sort of posts you would like to see more of and I will make that happen 🙂

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Have a great week lovelies

xx

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If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now…

Hello all,

Today I thought I would share something a little bit more personal, what I would tell my younger self, in the hopes that someone may take away a helpful life tip, or Life Hacks, if you will. When I was younger I was incredibly self conscious and shy and looking back, I realize now that I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities I had, and I didn’t enjoy myself how I wish I would have. I do have a lot of regrets when I look back, but now that I know, I am doing my best to not make the same mistakes now. So here they are, the things I wish I could tell my younger self:

Stop worrying! You have an entire life to worry. Things like bills, marriages, jobs, kids, the list goes on, will cause you worry so enjoy the time now where your parents are still taking care of you and where you don’t have any big responsibilities. It doesn’t really matter if you get one bad grade or if you think someone may be annoyed with you for who knows what reason. Don’t worry about things so much because even though they seem like a huge deal right now, in a few years, months, or even days, it will just be water under the bridge and life goes on.

Talk to Everyone! Yes, that includes the “popular” kids. No one, and I repeat, no one is too good for you. Do not be intimidated by others. Own who you are, even if you aren’t totally sure who that is exactly. You never know who will end up being a life long friend. What I do know for certain is that you will never find out if you cant pluck up the courage to just talk to people. I promise, it isn’t as painful or awkward as you think it will be.

No one cares! Honestly, no one is paying attention to you. I know that sounds harsh, but actually it is really freeing. It is totally true as well. Everyone is so busy worrying about themselves that they don’t have time to notice if your hair, makeup or clothes aren’t just right. I’m not saying no one cares about you, but I am saying everyone is so caught up in themselves that they don’t notice the little things that you think are glaringly obvious.

Cast your friend net wide! When you are younger it is hard to believe that your closest friends might not always be there and because of this it is easy to find one or two best friends and forget that everyone else exists. Well, friends come and go and it is so important to have as many friends as you can. Not necessarily a lot of close, close friends, but you can never have too many casual friends.

It’s ok to not have it together! One of the most important things I have learned, and this is a fairly recent gain, is that the adults I always thought had their lives perfectly together and life figured out, don’t. We don’t get better at figuring out lives out, we just get better at pretending like it. This takes me back to point 1, don’t worry about it. No one has their life perfectly figured out so try to be ok with the fact that you don’t know. I struggle with this nearly everyday. I still want to have my life figured out, but I have wasted so much time trying to sort it out that I have forgotten to enjoy what I have now. So give up trying, what is going to happen, is going to happen.

It is ok to be alone! I know, this is a blasphemous idea, but it is such good advice. You don’t need someone with you all of the time. Being alone doesn’t make you a loner, it doesn’t mean you have no friends, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It just means that you enjoy your own company. How can you expect others to want to hang out with you when you don’t even want to hang out with you? Also, when you get older your chances to be alone are more fleeting and you will really start to cherish the ‘you’ time. Just give it a try, I dare you, I bet you will actually like it.

Please done be sad! I know growing up is hard and I know there are a lot of things that go on that can really get you down, but be careful with this. It is ok to feel sad and to have a good cry once in a while, but don’t let it get out of hand. It is normal to feel down, there is nothing wrong with you, but try to be up beat and really appreciate life. You are amazing and you deserve to be happy. So smile, laugh and most importantly, love yourself.

Live in the moment! I know this is hard since we can constantly be plugged in, texting, perusing Facebook, whatever it is, its not real life! Don’t view life through a screen, talk to who is actually in the room with you. And you DO NOT have to be doing something all of the time. Enjoy doing nothing, enjoy your alone time, read a real book, watch the world go by and go to bed every night thinking that you have lived in THAT day, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today.

Let it go! Queue Frozen singing outbursts. But for real young version of myself, let it go. What ever it is you are hanging on to, whether it be something you did that embarrassed you, or thinking someone is mad at you, or just down right messing up big time, just let it go. It is such a waste of time clinging onto things and I can guarantee you that everyone else has already moved on.

This list could actually go on forever and I really don’t want to stop writing this, but I know that if I listed everything we would be here for a very long time. These are all things that I wish I knew and believed when I was younger, it would have saved me a lot of time and worry. I really hope that those of you reading this can take away at least one little tip from this because if I cant help my younger self, I want to help others. Life can be tough and it always seems more so when you’re younger, but it is also a beautiful blessing and it is too short to do anything less than LIVE, LOVE and BE HAPPY.

xx