5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming an Adult

When you are younger, growing up sounds like the most exciting thing. And then it happens. Yes, it is exciting and there are many perks, but I wish I had know that there were a lot of down falls as well. It’s true, people do always say “enjoy it while you can” because as an adult you cant do most of the things kids get away with, but did any of us take that seriously enough? These are five things I wish I had really understood before becoming an adult, just to make my transition a little smoother.

Stress levels with sky rocket.

Money, bills, work, responsibilities, all of these things take on a new meaning when you become an adult. All of the sudden these words can be full of stress and it can be difficult to deal with. Being an adult comes with a full set of stressors that can be hard to adjust to, especially if you weren’t ready for them, like I wasn’t. This has been my biggest struggle about adulating so far. The stress. I wish someone would have told me that I would be put under a lot of stress and had shown me ways to cope with it before I was in the thick of things. So, be aware of stress levels and find things you can do to make sure it stays at a healthy level.

Decision making is tough.

Which job should I take? Where should I live? Should I move? Should I take that risk? I want to do ______ but is it feasible? Or, my favourite: Will this make me happy? AH! Enough with throwing big decisions at me world! Making decisions is tough. As an adult the repercussions for out decisions are often much bigger than when we were younger. I mean, deciding what you want for lunch in the school cafeteria may seem like a big deal, but that pales when you are faced with a major life choice like do I take the lesser paying job at home because I might like it, or do I move somewhere new to take the better paying job I might hate? It is really hard to know what to do and I just wasn’t prepared for that.

Meeting people is hard.

You don’t realize when you are in high school and even college that friends and romantic interests are literally handed to you. You have to minimal work to meet people because you are surrounded by likeminded people 24 hours a day. Activities are planned for you and your hardest job is to simply turn up. Once you leave that little bubble, meeting people because something you have to actively try to do and most of us don’t have a lot of practice at this. It is difficult to find people and even harder to create those deep connections that will turn into life long friends. It’s not impossible but I do wish I would have known how hard it can be.

You will change quickly in the early years.

Looking back, even a year, I am a completely different person. My best example of this was meeting up with one of my oldest (in terms of years of friendship rather than age) friends and our choices for topic of conversation. We chose to talk about the housing market, recent world news, job promotions and finding spouses. Yeah, just re-read that sentence one more time for me. Only a few years ago we would have been talking about the merits of High School Musical and wondering if we could get our parents to make us some food. I am not kidding when I say, all it takes is even a year or so in the professional world for you to see some big changes in yourself and sometimes rapid change can be scary.

No one has it figured out, some people are better at pretending.

If you ever get the chance to sit down and have an honest conversation about the reality and stress of adulating with someone, I guarantee they tell you they don’t feel like they have things under control either. So the next time you look at someone and think “how come they don’t seem to be struggling and I live on the struggle bus?” remember that they are probably just good at pretending.

I am sure I am not alone in this. I am now 25 and have been adulating for a few years now, and to be honest, it hasn’t gotten much easier, but it is all apart of the learning process and I am still in my rapid changing phase. I do wish that someone would have warned me about these things just so I could have mentally prepared, so this is me warning you so you can!

Until next time,

xx

B.

What Living Alone Has Taught Me

Good morning everyone!

Today is an especially good day as it is a bank holiday and that means – no work! The only down side to this is that I am currently between flats, if you follow me on Twitter you will probably have picked up that I am moving house. I have a week between move-out and move-in so all of my things are packed up into a friends living room and I am stuck with a suitcase. The most difficult bit of this is trying to stay away from shopping before I get all moved in! #struggles. Anyway, this move is particularly exciting because I am moving in with a friend (who also happens to be a vegan, so yay!). Why does this make the move so exciting you ask?? Because I have lived alone for the past couple of years, moving in with a flat mate is a really big deal! So, on the brink of starting my journey of flat-mate-dom, I thought I would share with you what living by myself has taught me and why I think everyone needs to live alone at least once in their lives. Coming from someone who always swore they would never live alone, this is pretty big news. There are so many things that I have taken away from this experience but these are the big self-changers. Buckle up 🙂

  1.  Yes, you can rely on yourself– When you live by yourself, there is no one you can turn to get the furniture rearranged, unblock that drain, change those hard to reach light bulbs and to get rid of the spiders. At first this seems like the worst thing in the world and you start thinking “what have I done?!” but over time you realize, actually, “I don’t need someone to do this for me. I can figure out how to programme that TV all on my own! Stick it help from others!” I mean, of course you always have your friends (and family if they are close by) to help out when you really need it, but living on your own does help to give you that final push to realizing that you are perfectly capable to fend for yourself.
  2. Yep, I do actually like my own company– Growing up these days so many people are afraid to be alone. They think that being alone means there is something wrong with you or that you just don’t have any other choice. That is just so not the case. Being alone is amazing! This took me a while to get used to but once you do, its bliss. Go ahead and take a million shameless mirror sefies, no one will know! Eat as much cake as you want, no one is judging you! You want to dance around in your underwear, while singing the blues and crying? DO IT! Sure, its nice to spend time with others and enjoy others company, but it is really nice to come home and distress el solo. It is so important to learn to enjoy your own company and feel confident and happy with being alone. I mean, think about it….if you don’t like spending time with you, why would other people? You are awesome, so spend some time with just you.
  3. OK, I can be responsible– Very relatable to number 1 but this even goes down to doing the dishes, cleaning, etc. It is no ones fault but your own if the sink if full of dishes and there are three full bins of garbage rotting away (not going to lie to y’all but I have been there once or twice and its really not pretty). However, this is behind me now, I even have a reminder on my phone to water the plants, otherwise I turn into a serial plant killer 😦 Being the only person who take care of things teaches you to bloody well take care of things. Trust me, once this starts happening you start to feel really good about yourself- hello adulthood!
  4. And on the less positive side, Nope, I do not like it when people rearrange my stuff– While there are a lot of benefits to living alone and I am a firm believer that everyone should give it a go, there are some down sides to this as well. You can get a bit ‘grumpy old lady-ish’ and get very territorial over your things. I find that I get a little annoyed when someone doesn’t put things back where they belong or just totally change up my routine. I know that isn’t good and that I need to be more flexible in that sense. So my advice is to remain flexible with your space, just because its yours doesn’t mean it cant be enhanced by someone else!

So a long story short, live alone at least once in your life! Its good for you. Now that I have learned that I can survive on my own, I am very excited to live with someone again. That will bring its own set of lessons to learn, but bring it on world because I am ready for you.

Before you go, I would love to hear from you guys! Let me know your thoughts on living alone. I would also love to hear what sort of posts you would like to see more of and I will make that happen 🙂

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Have a great week lovelies

xx