5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming an Adult

When you are younger, growing up sounds like the most exciting thing. And then it happens. Yes, it is exciting and there are many perks, but I wish I had know that there were a lot of down falls as well. It’s true, people do always say “enjoy it while you can” because as an adult you cant do most of the things kids get away with, but did any of us take that seriously enough? These are five things I wish I had really understood before becoming an adult, just to make my transition a little smoother.

Stress levels with sky rocket.

Money, bills, work, responsibilities, all of these things take on a new meaning when you become an adult. All of the sudden these words can be full of stress and it can be difficult to deal with. Being an adult comes with a full set of stressors that can be hard to adjust to, especially if you weren’t ready for them, like I wasn’t. This has been my biggest struggle about adulating so far. The stress. I wish someone would have told me that I would be put under a lot of stress and had shown me ways to cope with it before I was in the thick of things. So, be aware of stress levels and find things you can do to make sure it stays at a healthy level.

Decision making is tough.

Which job should I take? Where should I live? Should I move? Should I take that risk? I want to do ______ but is it feasible? Or, my favourite: Will this make me happy? AH! Enough with throwing big decisions at me world! Making decisions is tough. As an adult the repercussions for out decisions are often much bigger than when we were younger. I mean, deciding what you want for lunch in the school cafeteria may seem like a big deal, but that pales when you are faced with a major life choice like do I take the lesser paying job at home because I might like it, or do I move somewhere new to take the better paying job I might hate? It is really hard to know what to do and I just wasn’t prepared for that.

Meeting people is hard.

You don’t realize when you are in high school and even college that friends and romantic interests are literally handed to you. You have to minimal work to meet people because you are surrounded by likeminded people 24 hours a day. Activities are planned for you and your hardest job is to simply turn up. Once you leave that little bubble, meeting people because something you have to actively try to do and most of us don’t have a lot of practice at this. It is difficult to find people and even harder to create those deep connections that will turn into life long friends. It’s not impossible but I do wish I would have known how hard it can be.

You will change quickly in the early years.

Looking back, even a year, I am a completely different person. My best example of this was meeting up with one of my oldest (in terms of years of friendship rather than age) friends and our choices for topic of conversation. We chose to talk about the housing market, recent world news, job promotions and finding spouses. Yeah, just re-read that sentence one more time for me. Only a few years ago we would have been talking about the merits of High School Musical and wondering if we could get our parents to make us some food. I am not kidding when I say, all it takes is even a year or so in the professional world for you to see some big changes in yourself and sometimes rapid change can be scary.

No one has it figured out, some people are better at pretending.

If you ever get the chance to sit down and have an honest conversation about the reality and stress of adulating with someone, I guarantee they tell you they don’t feel like they have things under control either. So the next time you look at someone and think “how come they don’t seem to be struggling and I live on the struggle bus?” remember that they are probably just good at pretending.

I am sure I am not alone in this. I am now 25 and have been adulating for a few years now, and to be honest, it hasn’t gotten much easier, but it is all apart of the learning process and I am still in my rapid changing phase. I do wish that someone would have warned me about these things just so I could have mentally prepared, so this is me warning you so you can!

Until next time,

xx

B.

If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now…

Hello all,

Today I thought I would share something a little bit more personal, what I would tell my younger self, in the hopes that someone may take away a helpful life tip, or Life Hacks, if you will. When I was younger I was incredibly self conscious and shy and looking back, I realize now that I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities I had, and I didn’t enjoy myself how I wish I would have. I do have a lot of regrets when I look back, but now that I know, I am doing my best to not make the same mistakes now. So here they are, the things I wish I could tell my younger self:

Stop worrying! You have an entire life to worry. Things like bills, marriages, jobs, kids, the list goes on, will cause you worry so enjoy the time now where your parents are still taking care of you and where you don’t have any big responsibilities. It doesn’t really matter if you get one bad grade or if you think someone may be annoyed with you for who knows what reason. Don’t worry about things so much because even though they seem like a huge deal right now, in a few years, months, or even days, it will just be water under the bridge and life goes on.

Talk to Everyone! Yes, that includes the “popular” kids. No one, and I repeat, no one is too good for you. Do not be intimidated by others. Own who you are, even if you aren’t totally sure who that is exactly. You never know who will end up being a life long friend. What I do know for certain is that you will never find out if you cant pluck up the courage to just talk to people. I promise, it isn’t as painful or awkward as you think it will be.

No one cares! Honestly, no one is paying attention to you. I know that sounds harsh, but actually it is really freeing. It is totally true as well. Everyone is so busy worrying about themselves that they don’t have time to notice if your hair, makeup or clothes aren’t just right. I’m not saying no one cares about you, but I am saying everyone is so caught up in themselves that they don’t notice the little things that you think are glaringly obvious.

Cast your friend net wide! When you are younger it is hard to believe that your closest friends might not always be there and because of this it is easy to find one or two best friends and forget that everyone else exists. Well, friends come and go and it is so important to have as many friends as you can. Not necessarily a lot of close, close friends, but you can never have too many casual friends.

It’s ok to not have it together! One of the most important things I have learned, and this is a fairly recent gain, is that the adults I always thought had their lives perfectly together and life figured out, don’t. We don’t get better at figuring out lives out, we just get better at pretending like it. This takes me back to point 1, don’t worry about it. No one has their life perfectly figured out so try to be ok with the fact that you don’t know. I struggle with this nearly everyday. I still want to have my life figured out, but I have wasted so much time trying to sort it out that I have forgotten to enjoy what I have now. So give up trying, what is going to happen, is going to happen.

It is ok to be alone! I know, this is a blasphemous idea, but it is such good advice. You don’t need someone with you all of the time. Being alone doesn’t make you a loner, it doesn’t mean you have no friends, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It just means that you enjoy your own company. How can you expect others to want to hang out with you when you don’t even want to hang out with you? Also, when you get older your chances to be alone are more fleeting and you will really start to cherish the ‘you’ time. Just give it a try, I dare you, I bet you will actually like it.

Please done be sad! I know growing up is hard and I know there are a lot of things that go on that can really get you down, but be careful with this. It is ok to feel sad and to have a good cry once in a while, but don’t let it get out of hand. It is normal to feel down, there is nothing wrong with you, but try to be up beat and really appreciate life. You are amazing and you deserve to be happy. So smile, laugh and most importantly, love yourself.

Live in the moment! I know this is hard since we can constantly be plugged in, texting, perusing Facebook, whatever it is, its not real life! Don’t view life through a screen, talk to who is actually in the room with you. And you DO NOT have to be doing something all of the time. Enjoy doing nothing, enjoy your alone time, read a real book, watch the world go by and go to bed every night thinking that you have lived in THAT day, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today.

Let it go! Queue Frozen singing outbursts. But for real young version of myself, let it go. What ever it is you are hanging on to, whether it be something you did that embarrassed you, or thinking someone is mad at you, or just down right messing up big time, just let it go. It is such a waste of time clinging onto things and I can guarantee you that everyone else has already moved on.

This list could actually go on forever and I really don’t want to stop writing this, but I know that if I listed everything we would be here for a very long time. These are all things that I wish I knew and believed when I was younger, it would have saved me a lot of time and worry. I really hope that those of you reading this can take away at least one little tip from this because if I cant help my younger self, I want to help others. Life can be tough and it always seems more so when you’re younger, but it is also a beautiful blessing and it is too short to do anything less than LIVE, LOVE and BE HAPPY.

xx